« It is so frustrating ! », said one of my clients, « my husband does his sport after work whenever he wants, while I am staying at home with our child »
« Good for him », I said, « he knows what he needs for his balance »
« Yes, but what about me !? I need it too ! », she said.
« Did you tell him ? »
« No, I did not », she said. « He should know ! »…
This is the typical mistake couples make… but one creating a lot of suffering : it is to withhold information, not communicate and expect that your partner will read your mind.
Of course you may have won the lottery and actually have a partner who reads your mind and fulfill all your desires even before you’ve expressed them. Bless you ! It is rare.
If that’s not your case, it does not mean you’ve got the wrong match. It just means that you need to inform your partner about your tastes, your needs, your wishes, your desires. Explain what hurts you, triggers you or makes you happy. Let your partner know about your sensitivities, your traumas, your preferences, how your mood, energy and desires may change during your moon cycle, your need for space and silence when you finish work, or your need to do sport or socialize…
Just give your partner the user manual ! And ask for his/her !
It’s only then that you can judge if you’re a good match or not.
Someone who loves you will study the manual and follow the instructions, to the point where he or she won’t need it anymore and will outguess your desires.
Someone who does not care, will not.
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